Klinker, Misha and Leofwin

1.

It was a clean crisp morning. Outside the front door of No. 7, Woodland Way, three wheelie bins were neatly aligned. Klinker was black, Leofwin green, and Misha yellow. They felt very smart.

In search of mischief, they were gazing across the patch of lawn, past the unkempt gorse bush, and on to the little road beyond.

‘I love mornings like this,’ Leofwin said.

‘Too chilly for me,’ said Klinker.

‘It’s invigorating,’ said Leofwin.

‘Johannesburg is beautifully warm,’ said Klinker. ‘Blue skies and fluffy white clouds.’ He sighed.

‘Too hot for me.’

‘Boys!’ warned Misha, sensing an impending argument.

‘What?’

2.

‘Look,’ said Klinker. A post lady was rounding the corner, pushing a red trolley.

‘She’s beautifully groomed,’ commented Misha. ‘I love the red jacket.’

‘She’s struggling with that trolley,’ said Klinker.

‘She’s coming here!’ said Leofwin. ‘With a parcel. That won’t fit through the letterbox.’

The post lady rapped on the front door. She waited, then tried once more, before finally depositing the package inside the back gate.

‘That’s heavy,’ said Klinker. ‘I know what it’s like. Bernard loaded me up with five bags of coal before they went. Nice colour, and I love the smell but, my, they’re heavy.’

3.

‘She’s forgotten to close the back gate!’ said Klinker.

‘That’s fine,’ said Leofwin. ‘This is a quiet neighbourhood. They’re more likely to dash in to close the gate than nab a parcel.’

‘I don’t think so. Look at that great lump at No. 8. He’d have a fight with a cardboard box if it let him,’ said Klinker. ‘If he couldn’t steal it, that is.’

‘He’s just immature,’ said Leofwin. ‘He’ll grow out of it. I don’t recall any riots here recently.’

‘Would you believe it? She’s gone back to close it,’ said Klinker.

‘She’s an absolute gem,’ said Misha.

4.

‘She’s going to have a natter with Jessop at No. 1,’ said Klinker. ‘Getting a bit chummy-chummy, aren’t they?’

‘And his wife is still amazingly elegant,’ said Misha.

‘It’s her mouth gets her into trouble,’ said Klinker.

‘She stands up for what she believes in,’ said Leofwin. ‘I’ve got a lot of time for that.’

‘It’s what she stands up for that’s the trouble,’ said Klinker. ‘She’s got no time for South Africans, I can tell you that.’

‘Don’t blame her, if they’re all like you,’ said Misha.

‘Klinker’s all right,’ said Leofwin.

‘I’m only winding his wheels,’ said Misha.

5.

A persistent banging disrupted the cul de sac. The bins looked at each other in surprise.

‘What day is it today?’ asked Leofwin.

‘Friday,’ said Misha.

‘Bin lorries don’t come on a Friday!’

‘Maybe it’s just passing by.’

‘I’m sure it’s coming closer.’

‘Which one is it?’ said Klinker.

‘I think it’s yours. They’re noisy, your lot,’ said Leofwin.

‘It’s got to be green.’

‘We only get a bit of green veg in the autumn. This one’s picking up much heavier loads.’

‘You’re right, Leofwin. It’s black,’ said Misha.

‘But I’m not ready,’ said Klinker. ‘No one’s put me out.’

6.

‘Wait a second. Her at No. 3 has just come out of the door, and she’s coming this way,’ said Misha.

Margie Grayson came over. She took hold of Klinker’s handles.

‘My goodness, what a weight!’ she said.

‘Watch out!’ Klinker whispered. ‘Don’t drop me!’

‘Shh!’ said Misha.

With an effort, Margie manoeuvred Klinker onto the pavement. She was just in time. A grey-haired bin man was striding up the road.

‘Alright, m’darlin’?’ said Lloyd.

‘Yeah. Bernard and Gloria asked me if I’d put their bin out.’

‘We could’ve done that,’ he said.

‘You’ve got enough to do,’ said Margie.

7.

Lloyd grabbed hold of Klinker, and yanked him over to the lorry. ‘Go easy, mate,’ muttered Klinker.

Lloyd swung the black bin onto the lifting panel at the back of the lorry. The lorry raised Klinker up, emptied his load into the back, and lowered him. Lloyd returned him to position next to Misha and Leofwin.

‘I feel like a weight’s been lifted off me!’ he said.

‘That’s why you’ve been so grouchy this morning,’ said Leofwin.

‘You know why they came today?’ said Misha.

‘No. Why?’ said Klinker and Leofwin in unison.

‘They knew it was your binday, Klinker!’

The end.